There are some things that I miss in my life right now. I miss (considerably) someone to curl up with me, and I miss being told that I'm loved. I have friends who tell me I'm loved quite often, but it's a different fondness.
Why is the need to be loved such a driving force in a person's life?
I guess I'm just tired of going to bed alone. I miss intimacy. Physical intimacy, yes, but more I miss emotional intimacy. Even with my closest friends I don't have emotional intimacy.
Of course this is all quite vague, when in fact the thing that's rubbing at the edges of my mind isn't vague at all. I know exactly what I desire, and I feel like I can get so close, but won't ever actually get what I want.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
New LIfe
A month ago I decided to live alone, instead of with James. I want different things out of life than he does, and I wasn't happy with the situation I was in. I love him dearly, and I miss him like crazy, but I'm trying to establish a life for myself that I can be happy with. Once I've done that I can find someone to join me in the life I've created.
When I drive around Oahu I pass places that have particular sentiment for me, things I've done with James, and it's a bittersweet moment. I haven't heard his voice in a month. I haven't kissed him or hugged him in a month. He feels that I betrayed him. I probably did.
So now Ive got two jobs, I work for Dr. Kouchi, and I write for Truly Obscure. I don't really do quite enough of either. It means I have a lot of free time, so I've been hanging out with Carl and Drew and Quest. I've gotten to meet Pat's girlfriend Brooke, and I see Lowell from time to time. I'm going to be living with Jordan and the new roommate Allon.
I'll have all kinds of photos up soon. I tell stories better with photos than I do with words.
I have moments that I feel completely alone, and I wonder if I've made a grave mistake. I wish, in those times, that he had wanted just a little more of what I wanted, and that I had wanted more of what was important to him.
I really do miss him, a lot. Ht was my closest friend.
When I drive around Oahu I pass places that have particular sentiment for me, things I've done with James, and it's a bittersweet moment. I haven't heard his voice in a month. I haven't kissed him or hugged him in a month. He feels that I betrayed him. I probably did.
So now Ive got two jobs, I work for Dr. Kouchi, and I write for Truly Obscure. I don't really do quite enough of either. It means I have a lot of free time, so I've been hanging out with Carl and Drew and Quest. I've gotten to meet Pat's girlfriend Brooke, and I see Lowell from time to time. I'm going to be living with Jordan and the new roommate Allon.
I'll have all kinds of photos up soon. I tell stories better with photos than I do with words.
I have moments that I feel completely alone, and I wonder if I've made a grave mistake. I wish, in those times, that he had wanted just a little more of what I wanted, and that I had wanted more of what was important to him.
I really do miss him, a lot. Ht was my closest friend.
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Lately
I went to San Francisco last weekend. I got to meet Ben's girlfriend Yui. Ben got to meet James. It was good seeing Ben. I kind of forgot how much I enjoy his company.
We looked at houses, the six of us will likely be living together. Well, at the minimum it looks like James and I will be sharing a place with Zoe and Greg. I'm not sure if Ben and Yui are in for sure or not. It would be fun to live with all of them though.
I have to tell the doctor that I work for tomorrow that I'm moving. He's kind of sensitive, and gets his feelings hurt easily, which makes me worry that he'll take my departure personally. I also have a worry that since I'm telling him so far in advance he'll find someone else before I'm ready to go, and will leave me in a bind.
My dad died a little over a year ago. The anniversary came and went quietly. I had a harder time the day after, not as much the day of.
My mom's birthday is this week. She'll be 55. She was diagnosed with ALS earlier this week. ALS is more commonly known in this country as Lou Gehrig's disease. It's very likely she's only got a year or two left to live.
James and I came very close to ending our relationship over the last weekend. We've talked a lot and I think we're good now. Balancing school and work is going to be tricky. Hopefully we'll make it through okay.
I have really amazing friends. I've said this before, but honestly, I really do. The very mention of needing a new place to live brought forth a flood of support and options. It's almost unbelievable to me that so many people genuinely want me around like they do. I even have friends here in Seattle, which I had started to think was never going to happen.
I need a way out of dental hygiene. I'm pretty sure I can't do it forever, and not sure I can sanely do it for the next five years.
We looked at houses, the six of us will likely be living together. Well, at the minimum it looks like James and I will be sharing a place with Zoe and Greg. I'm not sure if Ben and Yui are in for sure or not. It would be fun to live with all of them though.
I have to tell the doctor that I work for tomorrow that I'm moving. He's kind of sensitive, and gets his feelings hurt easily, which makes me worry that he'll take my departure personally. I also have a worry that since I'm telling him so far in advance he'll find someone else before I'm ready to go, and will leave me in a bind.
My dad died a little over a year ago. The anniversary came and went quietly. I had a harder time the day after, not as much the day of.
My mom's birthday is this week. She'll be 55. She was diagnosed with ALS earlier this week. ALS is more commonly known in this country as Lou Gehrig's disease. It's very likely she's only got a year or two left to live.
James and I came very close to ending our relationship over the last weekend. We've talked a lot and I think we're good now. Balancing school and work is going to be tricky. Hopefully we'll make it through okay.
I have really amazing friends. I've said this before, but honestly, I really do. The very mention of needing a new place to live brought forth a flood of support and options. It's almost unbelievable to me that so many people genuinely want me around like they do. I even have friends here in Seattle, which I had started to think was never going to happen.
I need a way out of dental hygiene. I'm pretty sure I can't do it forever, and not sure I can sanely do it for the next five years.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Friday, December 5, 2008
Xanax
I took my CPR cert. class today. It's been a while since I've had to do it in person, and I think it was probably good for me. However, I discussed and thought about my dad a lot. When he had his first stroke six years ago it was the first time I'd ever been required to employ any of my CPR and BLS knowledge. It was also one of the most difficult experiences of my life. I thought my dad was going to die that night. I was alone with him and that single thought until the paramedics arrived. He didn't die physically, but he was never the same either. My father, and best friend, was a different person when he regained consciousness. So, even though he was alive, I had to get to know someone else, care for his health, and grieve the loss of the dad I knew. He died almost a year ago now. I had panic attacks frequently when he first died. I rarely have them any more. However, today, after being forced to consider so many things that I just don't think about on a daily basis any more, I've had a lot of anxiety, and after my second panic attack of the evening I decided to take some xanax. I haven't had to do that in months. I miss my dad so much. I suspect the entire holiday season will be wrought with these pitfalls. I'll get through it, as I really don't have any other choice.
I'm ready for it to be March.
I'm ready for it to be March.
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Thanksgiving Menu
Cranberry Sauce with Pinot Noir
http://www.epicurious.com/recipes/food/views/CRANBERRY-SAUCE-WITH-PINOT-NOIR-4383
Ingredients:
1 tablespoon oil
2 cups cranberries
1 tablespoon ginger (grated)
2 cups Pinot Noir
1 cup sugar
2 tablespoons crystallized ginger (chopped)
1/2 teaspoon curry powder
1 pinch of Chinese five-spice powder
Directions:
1. Heat the oil in a pan.
2. Add the cranberries and ginger and stir until the cranberries begin to burst, about 3-5 minutes.
3. Add the wine and sugar and boil for 15 minutes to reduce.
Stir in the crystallized ginger, curry powder and Chinese five spice powder.
Pear, Brie and Onion Braid
http://onceinabluemooniris.blogspot.com/2008/09/marriage-made-in-heaven.html
puff pastry rectangle
spread down the middle with the following
mustard
caramelized onions with dried cranberries or fresh pomegranate seeds
brie
pear thinly sliced
braid, seal and wash with egg
bake at 450 for 20' until golden
serve warm over salad with balsamic dressing or raspberry vinaigrette
Pumpkin Slices with Spicy Pecan Sauce
http://eatmakeread.com/2008/10/23/pumpkin-slices-with-spicy-pecan-sauce/
1 small pumpkin
1/4 cup butter, melted
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper
1/4 cup pecans, coarsely chopped
2 teaspoons ricotta cheese
1 teaspoon red pepper flakes
Preheat oven to 300°
Cut open pumpkin, divide in half and de-seed it. Slice one of the halves into quarters, the other half will be left over to make puree or whatever you’d like to do with it.
Place the pumpkin on a rimmed baking sheet and pop it in the oven.
In a small bowl, combine the butter, cinnamon, cayenne and pecans. Mix until combined.
Open the oven and pour half the mixture over the pumpkin slices. Set the timer for 20 minutes.
Once the timer goes off, add the remaining mixture and set the timer for another 20 minutes or until the pumpkin slices are soft to the touch.
Mix the ricotta and red pepper flakes together. Top each slice with a dollop of the cheese and serve.
Ha Sikil Pak
Mayan Pumpkin Seed Dip
http://www.applepiepatispate.com/appetizer/pumpkin-seed-dip-sikil-pak/
1 cup unhulled raw pumpkin seeds
1/4 cup raw hulled pumpkin seeds
3 to 6 tomatoes, about 3/4 pound
1 habanero chile, or any fresh green chile such as jalapeño or serrano
1 1/2 teaspoons kosher salt, or to taste
1/3 to 2/3 cups water
2 tablespoons roughly chopped cilantro
2 tablespoons minced chives
Notes:
* Use any proportion of unhulled to hulled raw pumpkin seeds. In the original recipe, 1 cup of unhulled to 1/4 cup of hulled pumpkin seeds is suggested.
Instructions:
Heat a skillet or wide pan over medium heat. While mixing frequently, toast the unhulled pumpkin seeds until browned and crisp. The amount of time needed depends on the freshness of the pumpkin seeds and may take anywhere from 15 to 30 minutes. Some of the pumpkin seeds will pop.
Once well-browned, add the hulled pumpkin seeds and toast for an additional minute. Set the toasted pumpkin seeds aside and let cool.
In the same skillet, char the chiles and tomatoes while turning frequently until blistered in spots.
Using a food processor or coffee / spice grinder, grind the toasted pumpkin seeds with the salt into a coarse powder and transfer to a serving bowl. Mince the charred chile and set aside.
Blend the charred tomatoes with about 1/3 cup of water. Stir into the pumpkin seed powder and add the cilantro and chives. The consistency should be smooth, resembling a coarser version of hummus or baba ghanoush.
Top with the minced chile. Taste and adjust the seasoning with kosher salt if needed.
Dulce de Leche Pumpkin- Toffee Pie
http://therecipegirl.blogspot.com/2008/11/dulce-de-leche-pumpkin-toffee-pie.html
1 deep dish pie crust (frozen or make your own)
¾ cup canned dulce de leche (about- maybe a little less)
2 large eggs
One 15oz. can of pure pumpkin puree (not pumpkin-pie filling)
1 cup firmly packed brown sugar
2 Tbs flour
1 Tbs pure vanilla extract
½ tsp salt
1 tsp ground cinnamon
¾ tsp ground ginger
¼ tsp ground nutmeg
12 ounce can evaporated milk
whipped cream and toffee bits for garnish, if desired
Preheat oven to 375°F. Place rack on bottom.
Press piecrust into a deep-dish pie pan (or remove frozen pie crust from freezer).
Scoop dulce de leche into glass bowl and microwave about 20 seconds to soften it up a bit. Spoon dollops of dulce de leche into the piecrust. Evenly spread the caramel all the way to the edges.
Whisk eggs in a medium bowl. Whisk in pumpkin and next 7 ingredients until smooth. Whisk in milk. Pour filling on top of the caramel and place pan on a baking sheet to catch any caramel that may bubble out.
Bake on bottom oven rack for about 50 minutes (center should jiggle just slightly). Cool completely. Garnish with whipped cream and toffee bits, if desired.
Yield: 1 deep dish pie
Roasted Brussels Sprouts with Lemon-Tahini Dressing
http://www.cucinanicolina.com/on-brussels-sprouts-or-a-reluctant-love-letter
Sprouts:
As many as you like, say about 20
olive oil
salt
Sauce:
1/4 cup tahini
3 Tb. lemon juice
1/2 tsp. salt
2-5 Tb. water
Preheat oven to 400 F. Wash the brussels sprouts and cut them in half. Arrange in a large baking dish and drizzle liberally with olive oil. Salt to taste. Put in the oven and roast for about 15-20 minutes until they get a bit soft, but not too blackened.
Meanwhile, whisk the tahini with the lemon juice and salt. Add a bit of water as you like, so the sauce reaches your desired consistency.
Serve the sprouts generously covered with the sauce, or place it alongside.
Deconstructed Holiday Turkey with Sage Gravy
To brine turkey:
* 1 (6 1/2 to 7 pound) turkey breast on the bone
* 3 turkey drumsticks (about 2 1/4 pounds total)
* 2 turkey thighs (about 1 1/2 pounds total)
* 1/4 cup kosher salt
* 1/4 cup honey
* 1 head garlic, cut in half (do not peel)
* 2 dried bay leaves
* 4 sprigs fresh thyme
* 2 large whole sprigs fresh sage
* 2 teaspoons whole black peppercorns
* 2 teaspoons allspice berries
1/4 cup fresh celery leaves (from 1 bunch)
3 quarts apple cider, divided
1 quart cold water
To roast turkey:
* 3 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted
* Leaves from 2 large sprigs sage, plus several whole sprigs for garnish
Glaze:
* 2 cups apple cider
1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter
Gravy:
* 3 tablespoons all purpose flour
* 2 tablespoons fresh sage leaves
* 1/4 cup applejack brandy or Calvados
* 1/4 cup whipping cream
Brine turkey:
Rinse turkey parts and place in doubled 2 1/2-gallon resealable plastic bags (or large stockpot). Add salt, honey, garlic, bay leaves, thyme, sage, peppercorns, allspice, and celery leaves. Add enough cold cider and water to cover turkey — about 3 quarts. Press out air, close bags, and place in large bowl or other container to protect against leaks. Refrigerate at least 6 hours or overnight.
For glaze:
Boil cider in saucepan until reduced to 1/4 cup, about 15 minutes. Whisk in butter. Cool completely.
Roast turkey:
Preheat oven to 425°F. Arrange racks in upper and lower thirds of oven.
Remove turkey parts from brine, pat dry with paper towels, and place, skin side up, on racks set in 2 medium roasting pans (be sure to leave space between parts for air circulation). Pour 1 cup water into each pan. Brush all pieces with cider glaze. Place 1 pan on each oven rack and roast until beginning to brown, about 30 minutes. Tent with foil if needed.
Lower heat to 400°F, switch positions of pans, and rotate each pan 180°. Continue roasting until instant-read thermometer inserted into thickest part of breast, avoiding bone, registers 165°, about 1 to 1 1/4 hours. Brush with glaze every 30 minutes, adding up to 1 cup of water to the pan if drippings begin to burn. Transfer turkey parts to platter and tent with foil. Let turkey rest at least 20 minutes before serving.
Make gravy:
Pour pan juices into large measuring cup. Spoon off fat. Reserve 3 tablespoons fat and degreased juices. Pour sage broth into roasting pan. Bring to boil, scraping up browned bits. Combine flour, sage leaves, and reserved 3 tablespoons fat in heavy large saucepan; stir over medium heat 1 minute. Whisk in broth from roasting pan and reserved pan juices. Add applejack and cream and boil until gravy thickens slightly, whisking often, about 4 minutes. Season with salt and pepper. Strain into sauceboat. Serve turkey with gravy.
Chocolate Dipped Apple Cider Caramels
http://sugarpunk.wordpress.com/2008/11/09/apple-cider-caramels/
2 c apple cider
Reduce to 1/3 cup, set aside.
2/3 c cream
6 tbsp butter
Heat to boil, then set aside. [Again, I re-heated this just before adding it later. Also, when I make this next time, I'm going to infuse the cream with a cinnamon stick, as these caramels really love having cinnamon with them]
1 1/2 c sugar
1/4 c corn syrup
1/4 water
Cook to light brown
[I have found that my idea of "light brown" and what works with caramel aren't at all the same - I generally heat it to something more like medium-dark amber]
Add cream, butter and reduced apple cider all at once, stirring constantly (it will foam up - use a good size pot).
Cook to 250 degrees, using fairly low heat - you want to take about 10-15 minutes to get it up to temperature. [Now this, I just find to be incorrect. The sooner you can get it up to the mid-range of soft-ball, the better. I do use medium heat, but it has never taken longer than 5 minutes to get to temperature.]
Pour it into a 8 inch square baking pan that’s been lined with two pieces of oiled parchment paper, one in each direction - this creates a “sling” to pull the caramel out of the pan. [This has always resulted in a layer of caramel approximately 1/2 inch thick. If you want thicker caramels you can use a smaller pan.]
[I also sprinkled a little fleur de sel over the caramels at this point, as I find them far too sweet if they don't have a hint of saltiness about them]
[My final step: Cover the pan with plastic wrap, not touching the caramel (it'll melt)]. Wait until entirely cooled. Then cut with a sharp, oiled knife into pieces.
Other menu items that don’t require recipes:
Mashed Potatoes
Long Bread
http://www.epicurious.com/recipes/food/views/CRANBERRY-SAUCE-WITH-PINOT-NOIR-4383
Ingredients:
1 tablespoon oil
2 cups cranberries
1 tablespoon ginger (grated)
2 cups Pinot Noir
1 cup sugar
2 tablespoons crystallized ginger (chopped)
1/2 teaspoon curry powder
1 pinch of Chinese five-spice powder
Directions:
1. Heat the oil in a pan.
2. Add the cranberries and ginger and stir until the cranberries begin to burst, about 3-5 minutes.
3. Add the wine and sugar and boil for 15 minutes to reduce.
Stir in the crystallized ginger, curry powder and Chinese five spice powder.
Pear, Brie and Onion Braid
http://onceinabluemooniris.blogspot.com/2008/09/marriage-made-in-heaven.html
puff pastry rectangle
spread down the middle with the following
mustard
caramelized onions with dried cranberries or fresh pomegranate seeds
brie
pear thinly sliced
braid, seal and wash with egg
bake at 450 for 20' until golden
serve warm over salad with balsamic dressing or raspberry vinaigrette
Pumpkin Slices with Spicy Pecan Sauce
http://eatmakeread.com/2008/10/23/pumpkin-slices-with-spicy-pecan-sauce/
1 small pumpkin
1/4 cup butter, melted
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper
1/4 cup pecans, coarsely chopped
2 teaspoons ricotta cheese
1 teaspoon red pepper flakes
Preheat oven to 300°
Cut open pumpkin, divide in half and de-seed it. Slice one of the halves into quarters, the other half will be left over to make puree or whatever you’d like to do with it.
Place the pumpkin on a rimmed baking sheet and pop it in the oven.
In a small bowl, combine the butter, cinnamon, cayenne and pecans. Mix until combined.
Open the oven and pour half the mixture over the pumpkin slices. Set the timer for 20 minutes.
Once the timer goes off, add the remaining mixture and set the timer for another 20 minutes or until the pumpkin slices are soft to the touch.
Mix the ricotta and red pepper flakes together. Top each slice with a dollop of the cheese and serve.
Ha Sikil Pak
Mayan Pumpkin Seed Dip
http://www.applepiepatispate.com/appetizer/pumpkin-seed-dip-sikil-pak/
1 cup unhulled raw pumpkin seeds
1/4 cup raw hulled pumpkin seeds
3 to 6 tomatoes, about 3/4 pound
1 habanero chile, or any fresh green chile such as jalapeño or serrano
1 1/2 teaspoons kosher salt, or to taste
1/3 to 2/3 cups water
2 tablespoons roughly chopped cilantro
2 tablespoons minced chives
Notes:
* Use any proportion of unhulled to hulled raw pumpkin seeds. In the original recipe, 1 cup of unhulled to 1/4 cup of hulled pumpkin seeds is suggested.
Instructions:
Heat a skillet or wide pan over medium heat. While mixing frequently, toast the unhulled pumpkin seeds until browned and crisp. The amount of time needed depends on the freshness of the pumpkin seeds and may take anywhere from 15 to 30 minutes. Some of the pumpkin seeds will pop.
Once well-browned, add the hulled pumpkin seeds and toast for an additional minute. Set the toasted pumpkin seeds aside and let cool.
In the same skillet, char the chiles and tomatoes while turning frequently until blistered in spots.
Using a food processor or coffee / spice grinder, grind the toasted pumpkin seeds with the salt into a coarse powder and transfer to a serving bowl. Mince the charred chile and set aside.
Blend the charred tomatoes with about 1/3 cup of water. Stir into the pumpkin seed powder and add the cilantro and chives. The consistency should be smooth, resembling a coarser version of hummus or baba ghanoush.
Top with the minced chile. Taste and adjust the seasoning with kosher salt if needed.
Dulce de Leche Pumpkin- Toffee Pie
http://therecipegirl.blogspot.com/2008/11/dulce-de-leche-pumpkin-toffee-pie.html
1 deep dish pie crust (frozen or make your own)
¾ cup canned dulce de leche (about- maybe a little less)
2 large eggs
One 15oz. can of pure pumpkin puree (not pumpkin-pie filling)
1 cup firmly packed brown sugar
2 Tbs flour
1 Tbs pure vanilla extract
½ tsp salt
1 tsp ground cinnamon
¾ tsp ground ginger
¼ tsp ground nutmeg
12 ounce can evaporated milk
whipped cream and toffee bits for garnish, if desired
Preheat oven to 375°F. Place rack on bottom.
Press piecrust into a deep-dish pie pan (or remove frozen pie crust from freezer).
Scoop dulce de leche into glass bowl and microwave about 20 seconds to soften it up a bit. Spoon dollops of dulce de leche into the piecrust. Evenly spread the caramel all the way to the edges.
Whisk eggs in a medium bowl. Whisk in pumpkin and next 7 ingredients until smooth. Whisk in milk. Pour filling on top of the caramel and place pan on a baking sheet to catch any caramel that may bubble out.
Bake on bottom oven rack for about 50 minutes (center should jiggle just slightly). Cool completely. Garnish with whipped cream and toffee bits, if desired.
Yield: 1 deep dish pie
Roasted Brussels Sprouts with Lemon-Tahini Dressing
http://www.cucinanicolina.com/on-brussels-sprouts-or-a-reluctant-love-letter
Sprouts:
As many as you like, say about 20
olive oil
salt
Sauce:
1/4 cup tahini
3 Tb. lemon juice
1/2 tsp. salt
2-5 Tb. water
Preheat oven to 400 F. Wash the brussels sprouts and cut them in half. Arrange in a large baking dish and drizzle liberally with olive oil. Salt to taste. Put in the oven and roast for about 15-20 minutes until they get a bit soft, but not too blackened.
Meanwhile, whisk the tahini with the lemon juice and salt. Add a bit of water as you like, so the sauce reaches your desired consistency.
Serve the sprouts generously covered with the sauce, or place it alongside.
Deconstructed Holiday Turkey with Sage Gravy
To brine turkey:
* 1 (6 1/2 to 7 pound) turkey breast on the bone
* 3 turkey drumsticks (about 2 1/4 pounds total)
* 2 turkey thighs (about 1 1/2 pounds total)
* 1/4 cup kosher salt
* 1/4 cup honey
* 1 head garlic, cut in half (do not peel)
* 2 dried bay leaves
* 4 sprigs fresh thyme
* 2 large whole sprigs fresh sage
* 2 teaspoons whole black peppercorns
* 2 teaspoons allspice berries
1/4 cup fresh celery leaves (from 1 bunch)
3 quarts apple cider, divided
1 quart cold water
To roast turkey:
* 3 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted
* Leaves from 2 large sprigs sage, plus several whole sprigs for garnish
Glaze:
* 2 cups apple cider
1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter
Gravy:
* 3 tablespoons all purpose flour
* 2 tablespoons fresh sage leaves
* 1/4 cup applejack brandy or Calvados
* 1/4 cup whipping cream
Brine turkey:
Rinse turkey parts and place in doubled 2 1/2-gallon resealable plastic bags (or large stockpot). Add salt, honey, garlic, bay leaves, thyme, sage, peppercorns, allspice, and celery leaves. Add enough cold cider and water to cover turkey — about 3 quarts. Press out air, close bags, and place in large bowl or other container to protect against leaks. Refrigerate at least 6 hours or overnight.
For glaze:
Boil cider in saucepan until reduced to 1/4 cup, about 15 minutes. Whisk in butter. Cool completely.
Roast turkey:
Preheat oven to 425°F. Arrange racks in upper and lower thirds of oven.
Remove turkey parts from brine, pat dry with paper towels, and place, skin side up, on racks set in 2 medium roasting pans (be sure to leave space between parts for air circulation). Pour 1 cup water into each pan. Brush all pieces with cider glaze. Place 1 pan on each oven rack and roast until beginning to brown, about 30 minutes. Tent with foil if needed.
Lower heat to 400°F, switch positions of pans, and rotate each pan 180°. Continue roasting until instant-read thermometer inserted into thickest part of breast, avoiding bone, registers 165°, about 1 to 1 1/4 hours. Brush with glaze every 30 minutes, adding up to 1 cup of water to the pan if drippings begin to burn. Transfer turkey parts to platter and tent with foil. Let turkey rest at least 20 minutes before serving.
Make gravy:
Pour pan juices into large measuring cup. Spoon off fat. Reserve 3 tablespoons fat and degreased juices. Pour sage broth into roasting pan. Bring to boil, scraping up browned bits. Combine flour, sage leaves, and reserved 3 tablespoons fat in heavy large saucepan; stir over medium heat 1 minute. Whisk in broth from roasting pan and reserved pan juices. Add applejack and cream and boil until gravy thickens slightly, whisking often, about 4 minutes. Season with salt and pepper. Strain into sauceboat. Serve turkey with gravy.
Chocolate Dipped Apple Cider Caramels
http://sugarpunk.wordpress.com/2008/11/09/apple-cider-caramels/
2 c apple cider
Reduce to 1/3 cup, set aside.
2/3 c cream
6 tbsp butter
Heat to boil, then set aside. [Again, I re-heated this just before adding it later. Also, when I make this next time, I'm going to infuse the cream with a cinnamon stick, as these caramels really love having cinnamon with them]
1 1/2 c sugar
1/4 c corn syrup
1/4 water
Cook to light brown
[I have found that my idea of "light brown" and what works with caramel aren't at all the same - I generally heat it to something more like medium-dark amber]
Add cream, butter and reduced apple cider all at once, stirring constantly (it will foam up - use a good size pot).
Cook to 250 degrees, using fairly low heat - you want to take about 10-15 minutes to get it up to temperature. [Now this, I just find to be incorrect. The sooner you can get it up to the mid-range of soft-ball, the better. I do use medium heat, but it has never taken longer than 5 minutes to get to temperature.]
Pour it into a 8 inch square baking pan that’s been lined with two pieces of oiled parchment paper, one in each direction - this creates a “sling” to pull the caramel out of the pan. [This has always resulted in a layer of caramel approximately 1/2 inch thick. If you want thicker caramels you can use a smaller pan.]
[I also sprinkled a little fleur de sel over the caramels at this point, as I find them far too sweet if they don't have a hint of saltiness about them]
[My final step: Cover the pan with plastic wrap, not touching the caramel (it'll melt)]. Wait until entirely cooled. Then cut with a sharp, oiled knife into pieces.
Other menu items that don’t require recipes:
Mashed Potatoes
Long Bread
Saturday, November 1, 2008
Menu Planning: How I do it.
Okay, so I've been promising Patrick for a while that I'll go over solid meal planning with him. Instead of just writing an email, I figure I'll post it here, that way anyone who's interested can participate. I'm going to post my entire shopping list for this week, as well as the recipes. I started with a practically empty fridge (I've been lazy the last week or so), so this is a good jump-off spot. It's also a very basic menu, which won't require a lot of spices or extras.
When I menu plan I'm feeding two people, with enough leftovers for lunch the next day. I scale my recipes back so that I'm not making too much food. Every recipe that I post is almost certainly cut in half from an original recipe somewhere. I'll credit if I copy recipes, otherwise they're my own creations. Please read all of the recipes, and amend the shopping list as necessary. My list was based on what I already had at home.
Ready?
Shopping List:
1 red, yellow or orange bell pepper
3 yukon gold potatoes, or similar
Small chunk of fresh ginger (maybe 1")
6-8 tomatillos
1 carrot
2-3 jalepeno peppers
1 serano chile
1 pablano chile
1 bunch green onions
1 small bunch of baby spinach
1 head of garlic
2 yellow onions (I like sweet, like Walla Walla or Vidalia)
1 bunch Italian flat-leaf parsley OR 1 bunch cilantro
herbs: thyme, basil, rosemary, oregano, sage (if you can find a mixed bunch go with that, otherwise you may want to choose just two or three, as herbs can get pricey when purchased individually)
2 limes
1 can black beans
1 can white beans (Cannelli or Navy)
1 can petite diced tomatoes
1 pkg chicken (legs and thighs, approx 1-1.5 lbs)
1/4 lb ground pork (if you can't find this it's okay to omit, you can use the sausage instead if needed)
1.5 lbs ground beef (the cheaper the better, it's fatty, but that can be poured off)
1 pkg sage sausage (Jimmy Dean, or whatever)
1/2 lb steak strips (cut for stir-fry)
1 box crackers (to go with chili, sub rice if you prefer)
1 jar spaghetti sauce
frozen garlic bread slices
pasta- fresh if you can find it, otherwise dry is fine, I got linguine this time
Things you'll need that weren't on my list:
1/2 doz eggs (if you don't have them at home already)
rice (if you don't have it at home already)
Small container of milk if there's none at the house (you won't need much)
Bread crumbs or sliced bread (again, if there's none at the house already)
Once you're home:
divide your beef up into .5 lbs each, to be frozen, if it's not divided already
divide sausage into three equal portions to be frozen
Now I'll remind you of the recipes:
Chicken w/ green sauce and rice
Pasta w/ white beans and sausage
Beef stir-fry w/ rice
Chili and crackers or rice
Meatloaf w/ mashed potatoes
Pasta w/ red meat sauce and garlic bread
Still with me? Here come the recipes. The order in which you do your recipes is up to you. Bear in mind dry, canned and frozen foods have a much longer life than your fresh herbs and produce. Onions and potatoes keep for quite some time, but your peppers and herbs will go fairly fast. For this reason I do my chicken and green sauce pretty early in the week. I listed the recipes in the order I would do them, so that you minimize any fresh food spoilage.
Chicken w/ green sauce
6-8 tomatillos
1/2 the bunch of green onions
1/3 of the bunch of cilantro or parsley
1 lime
1 serrano chile
1 poblano pepper
2-3 cloves of garlic
Salt, pepper
1 large pinch of sugar
remove papers from tomatillos, quarter the poblano (remove seeds, stem and ribs) place under broiler and roast until skin starts to char, and they start to smell good. While those are roasting, roughly chop green onions, cutting off the hairy part at the white end. Throw into blender. (I use the entire green onion, all the way up the green part), roughly chop the serrano, again removing the seeds, stem and ribbing (you might consider latex gloves for this, if you have them, otherwise be very careful about rubbing your eyes because the oil is hot and it will burn). Throw into blender.Lay the three cloves of garlic on the cutting board, and smash with the flat of a knife. (This will remove the papers for you.) Discard papers, roughly mince. Throw in the blender. Cut the lime in half, squeeze juice from each half into the blender. (Run the peels down the garbage disposal, it will make your kitchen smell good.) Tear the leaves off the stems of the cilantro and throw in the blender. When the tomatillos and poblanos are done put them in the blender. Add quite a bit of salt, pepper and the sugar. Blend the hell out of it.
Pour green sauce in a pan, add chicken (4-6 pieces, with skins removed). Cook over med-low heat until the chicken is no longer raw. Serve over rice.
Bucatini ai Fagioli (modified from this recipe )
- serves two -
Ingredients
1/2 pound bucatini or spaghetti
1 can of white beans, with liquid
2 tablespoons olive oil
1 clove garlic, minced
1 handful of mixed herbs (parsley, sage, rosemary), chopped
1 small red pepper, chopped
Parmesan, grated
1. In a large skillet over medium heat, pour in the olive oil. Add the garlic a handful of the mixed herbs. Cook for five minutes. Add the sausage and cook all the way through. Add the beans and chili pepper and cook for 10 minutes, stirring occasionally. If it becomes too dry, add some of the pasta water.
2. Meanwhile, bring a large pot of water to a boil. Toss in the pasta and cook according to the instructions on the box.
3. When the pasta is done, transfer the skillet. Stir until well combined, adding a little pasta water if dry.
4. Remove from the heat. Sprinkle with parmesan, season with salt and pepper, and serve.
Beef Stir-Fry w/ rice (modified from this recipe)
Ingredients
* 3 Tbsp. lime juice, 1 tsp. sugar
* 2 tablespoons soy sauce
* 2 teaspoons cornstarch
* 1 tablespoon canola oil (olive oil or vegetable oil will also be just fine)
* 8 ounces flank steak (this is your sliced steak)
* 1 tablespoon chopped garlic (2 cloves, roughly)
* 2 teaspoons chopped jalapeno pepper, or to taste (1 pepper)
* 1 1/2 teaspoons chopped fresh ginger
* 1/2 bell pepper, rough dice
* 1 6-ounce bag baby spinach
* 1/4 cup chopped fresh cilantro
* 1/2 bunch green onions
Directions
Combine lime juice and sugar, soy sauce and cornstarch in a small bowl.
Heat oil in a large nonstick skillet over medium-high heat. Spread steak out in the pan and cook until seared on one side, about 1 minute. Add garlic, jalapeno, green onion and ginger and cook, stirring, until fragrant, about 30 seconds. Add bell pepper and spinach (the pan will be very full). Pour the lime mixture into the pan and stir gently until the sauce thickens and the spinach is wilted, about 3 minutes. Stir in cilantro and sesame oil. Serve over rice.
Rita's Chili
1/2 lb ground beef, or 1/4 lb ground beef and 1/3 lb sausage
Olive oil
1/4 to 1/2 yellow onion, finely minced
2-3 cloves garlic, finely minced
1 jalepeno pepper, finely minced
herbs of your amount and choosing, finely minced
1/2 bell pepper, small dice
small handful of parsley or cilantro
1 can tomatoes
1 can black beans
seasonings:
chili powder (1/2 to 1 TBSP)
salt
pepper
sugar (pinch)
cumin (maybe 1 tsp, perhaps a bit more)
red pepper flakes (sriracha sauce could be used also, this is just for heat)
Instructions:
In a pan suitable for soup heat olive oil over medium heat, add onion, jalepeno, bell pepper, garlic, and herbs. Saute 5 mins or so, until onions begin to soften up. Add meat, and brown until it's cooked through. Add seasonings of your choosing, in the amounts that you want, until it smells good. Add tomatoes w/ liquid, and beans w/ liquid. Adjust seasonings. Let simmer until you're ready to eat. Serve w/ crackers, or over rice.
Meatloaf and mashed potatoes
Pre-heat oven to 350F
2-3 potatoes, peeled and quartered (you'll also need a bit of milk or chicken stock, maybe 1/4 to 1/3 of a cup, and 2-3 Tbsp of butter or margarine)
1/2 lb ground beef
1/4 lb ground pork (or just use beef and sausage if you didn't buy pork)
1/3 lb sausage
1 egg
1/4 finely minced yellow onion
1 carrot, peeled and grated
1/2 C. bread crumbs (if you don't have bread crumbs you can toast 2-3 slices of regular bread and chop them up as fine as they'll go)
Katsup or BBQ sauce, 2 TBSP.
herbs, salt pepper
Put everything in a big bowl, and squish it up with your hands until it's completely mixed together. Put in a bread loaf pan, or shape like a loaf and bake on a cookie sheet. Bake for 40-50 minutes.
While meatloaf is in the oven, boil the potatoes for 20 minutes, or until soft. Drain off water, add milk and butter to potatoes and mash until fluffy. (a hand-held mixer is especially useful here, or you can use a manual masher or potato ricer.) Keep warm, and serve w/ meatloaf.
I'm not going to put a recipe for pasta w/ red sauce and meat, because I know you already know how to make that. :)
I've also got a killer recipe for apple cake, if you want it. You would need to add 2 apples and some walnuts to your list. (Assuming you have flour, sugar, brown sugar, baking soda etc.)
Good luck, and you know how to reach me if you have any questions!
When I menu plan I'm feeding two people, with enough leftovers for lunch the next day. I scale my recipes back so that I'm not making too much food. Every recipe that I post is almost certainly cut in half from an original recipe somewhere. I'll credit if I copy recipes, otherwise they're my own creations. Please read all of the recipes, and amend the shopping list as necessary. My list was based on what I already had at home.
Ready?
Shopping List:
1 red, yellow or orange bell pepper
3 yukon gold potatoes, or similar
Small chunk of fresh ginger (maybe 1")
6-8 tomatillos
1 carrot
2-3 jalepeno peppers
1 serano chile
1 pablano chile
1 bunch green onions
1 small bunch of baby spinach
1 head of garlic
2 yellow onions (I like sweet, like Walla Walla or Vidalia)
1 bunch Italian flat-leaf parsley OR 1 bunch cilantro
herbs: thyme, basil, rosemary, oregano, sage (if you can find a mixed bunch go with that, otherwise you may want to choose just two or three, as herbs can get pricey when purchased individually)
2 limes
1 can black beans
1 can white beans (Cannelli or Navy)
1 can petite diced tomatoes
1 pkg chicken (legs and thighs, approx 1-1.5 lbs)
1/4 lb ground pork (if you can't find this it's okay to omit, you can use the sausage instead if needed)
1.5 lbs ground beef (the cheaper the better, it's fatty, but that can be poured off)
1 pkg sage sausage (Jimmy Dean, or whatever)
1/2 lb steak strips (cut for stir-fry)
1 box crackers (to go with chili, sub rice if you prefer)
1 jar spaghetti sauce
frozen garlic bread slices
pasta- fresh if you can find it, otherwise dry is fine, I got linguine this time
Things you'll need that weren't on my list:
1/2 doz eggs (if you don't have them at home already)
rice (if you don't have it at home already)
Small container of milk if there's none at the house (you won't need much)
Bread crumbs or sliced bread (again, if there's none at the house already)
Once you're home:
divide your beef up into .5 lbs each, to be frozen, if it's not divided already
divide sausage into three equal portions to be frozen
Now I'll remind you of the recipes:
Chicken w/ green sauce and rice
Pasta w/ white beans and sausage
Beef stir-fry w/ rice
Chili and crackers or rice
Meatloaf w/ mashed potatoes
Pasta w/ red meat sauce and garlic bread
Still with me? Here come the recipes. The order in which you do your recipes is up to you. Bear in mind dry, canned and frozen foods have a much longer life than your fresh herbs and produce. Onions and potatoes keep for quite some time, but your peppers and herbs will go fairly fast. For this reason I do my chicken and green sauce pretty early in the week. I listed the recipes in the order I would do them, so that you minimize any fresh food spoilage.
Chicken w/ green sauce
6-8 tomatillos
1/2 the bunch of green onions
1/3 of the bunch of cilantro or parsley
1 lime
1 serrano chile
1 poblano pepper
2-3 cloves of garlic
Salt, pepper
1 large pinch of sugar
remove papers from tomatillos, quarter the poblano (remove seeds, stem and ribs) place under broiler and roast until skin starts to char, and they start to smell good. While those are roasting, roughly chop green onions, cutting off the hairy part at the white end. Throw into blender. (I use the entire green onion, all the way up the green part), roughly chop the serrano, again removing the seeds, stem and ribbing (you might consider latex gloves for this, if you have them, otherwise be very careful about rubbing your eyes because the oil is hot and it will burn). Throw into blender.Lay the three cloves of garlic on the cutting board, and smash with the flat of a knife. (This will remove the papers for you.) Discard papers, roughly mince. Throw in the blender. Cut the lime in half, squeeze juice from each half into the blender. (Run the peels down the garbage disposal, it will make your kitchen smell good.) Tear the leaves off the stems of the cilantro and throw in the blender. When the tomatillos and poblanos are done put them in the blender. Add quite a bit of salt, pepper and the sugar. Blend the hell out of it.
Pour green sauce in a pan, add chicken (4-6 pieces, with skins removed). Cook over med-low heat until the chicken is no longer raw. Serve over rice.
Bucatini ai Fagioli (modified from this recipe )
- serves two -
Ingredients
1/2 pound bucatini or spaghetti
1 can of white beans, with liquid
2 tablespoons olive oil
1 clove garlic, minced
1 handful of mixed herbs (parsley, sage, rosemary), chopped
1 small red pepper, chopped
Parmesan, grated
1. In a large skillet over medium heat, pour in the olive oil. Add the garlic a handful of the mixed herbs. Cook for five minutes. Add the sausage and cook all the way through. Add the beans and chili pepper and cook for 10 minutes, stirring occasionally. If it becomes too dry, add some of the pasta water.
2. Meanwhile, bring a large pot of water to a boil. Toss in the pasta and cook according to the instructions on the box.
3. When the pasta is done, transfer the skillet. Stir until well combined, adding a little pasta water if dry.
4. Remove from the heat. Sprinkle with parmesan, season with salt and pepper, and serve.
Beef Stir-Fry w/ rice (modified from this recipe)
Ingredients
* 3 Tbsp. lime juice, 1 tsp. sugar
* 2 tablespoons soy sauce
* 2 teaspoons cornstarch
* 1 tablespoon canola oil (olive oil or vegetable oil will also be just fine)
* 8 ounces flank steak (this is your sliced steak)
* 1 tablespoon chopped garlic (2 cloves, roughly)
* 2 teaspoons chopped jalapeno pepper, or to taste (1 pepper)
* 1 1/2 teaspoons chopped fresh ginger
* 1/2 bell pepper, rough dice
* 1 6-ounce bag baby spinach
* 1/4 cup chopped fresh cilantro
* 1/2 bunch green onions
Directions
Combine lime juice and sugar, soy sauce and cornstarch in a small bowl.
Heat oil in a large nonstick skillet over medium-high heat. Spread steak out in the pan and cook until seared on one side, about 1 minute. Add garlic, jalapeno, green onion and ginger and cook, stirring, until fragrant, about 30 seconds. Add bell pepper and spinach (the pan will be very full). Pour the lime mixture into the pan and stir gently until the sauce thickens and the spinach is wilted, about 3 minutes. Stir in cilantro and sesame oil. Serve over rice.
Rita's Chili
1/2 lb ground beef, or 1/4 lb ground beef and 1/3 lb sausage
Olive oil
1/4 to 1/2 yellow onion, finely minced
2-3 cloves garlic, finely minced
1 jalepeno pepper, finely minced
herbs of your amount and choosing, finely minced
1/2 bell pepper, small dice
small handful of parsley or cilantro
1 can tomatoes
1 can black beans
seasonings:
chili powder (1/2 to 1 TBSP)
salt
pepper
sugar (pinch)
cumin (maybe 1 tsp, perhaps a bit more)
red pepper flakes (sriracha sauce could be used also, this is just for heat)
Instructions:
In a pan suitable for soup heat olive oil over medium heat, add onion, jalepeno, bell pepper, garlic, and herbs. Saute 5 mins or so, until onions begin to soften up. Add meat, and brown until it's cooked through. Add seasonings of your choosing, in the amounts that you want, until it smells good. Add tomatoes w/ liquid, and beans w/ liquid. Adjust seasonings. Let simmer until you're ready to eat. Serve w/ crackers, or over rice.
Meatloaf and mashed potatoes
Pre-heat oven to 350F
2-3 potatoes, peeled and quartered (you'll also need a bit of milk or chicken stock, maybe 1/4 to 1/3 of a cup, and 2-3 Tbsp of butter or margarine)
1/2 lb ground beef
1/4 lb ground pork (or just use beef and sausage if you didn't buy pork)
1/3 lb sausage
1 egg
1/4 finely minced yellow onion
1 carrot, peeled and grated
1/2 C. bread crumbs (if you don't have bread crumbs you can toast 2-3 slices of regular bread and chop them up as fine as they'll go)
Katsup or BBQ sauce, 2 TBSP.
herbs, salt pepper
Put everything in a big bowl, and squish it up with your hands until it's completely mixed together. Put in a bread loaf pan, or shape like a loaf and bake on a cookie sheet. Bake for 40-50 minutes.
While meatloaf is in the oven, boil the potatoes for 20 minutes, or until soft. Drain off water, add milk and butter to potatoes and mash until fluffy. (a hand-held mixer is especially useful here, or you can use a manual masher or potato ricer.) Keep warm, and serve w/ meatloaf.
I'm not going to put a recipe for pasta w/ red sauce and meat, because I know you already know how to make that. :)
I've also got a killer recipe for apple cake, if you want it. You would need to add 2 apples and some walnuts to your list. (Assuming you have flour, sugar, brown sugar, baking soda etc.)
Good luck, and you know how to reach me if you have any questions!
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